Wolfe Untamed: From Combat to Compassion – Brandon Young’s Story
Welcome back to the Wolfe Untamed blog! This week, Derek sat down with a real American tough guy, Brandon Young. Brandon is a former Army Ranger who saw a lot of intense stuff during his time in the military. But this chat wasn’t just about fighting; it was about growing up tough, finding your way, and learning to forgive.
Growing Up and Finding the Army
Brandon grew up in California back in the 80s and 90s. His home life was pretty rough, and his dad wasn’t around much after he was 11. His mom worked super hard, sometimes four jobs, to take care of Brandon and his two older siblings. This tough start made Brandon feel kind of worthless as a kid. He thought maybe his purpose was to protect others who had better families or fathers who showed them love.
From a young age, Brandon knew he wanted to be a soldier. He said it was all he ever wanted to do. He was a really active, aggressive kid and found ways to channel that energy through martial arts like kickboxing and kung fu. He needed a disciplined way to use that aggression, and these fighting styles helped him. Derek, who played professional football, understood this, saying football was his “organized chaos” where he could be aggressive but disciplined. They both agreed that finding something like martial arts or football teaches you important life lessons.
When Brandon finished high school in 1997, he joined the Army. He chose Airborne Infantry, even though his test scores meant he could have picked almost any job. He then volunteered for Ranger training, which is known for being incredibly hard.
Becoming a Ranger: Pushing Limits
Brandon spent almost a decade in the Ranger Regiment. He described Ranger school as a “miserable experience” designed to test future leaders. They make it super tough by not letting you sleep or eat much. Brandon lost 30 pounds in the first two weeks! You have to carry heavy gear and constantly move.
The main point of Ranger school is learning to lead when everyone is at their worst. Brandon and Derek talked about how this is like the hardest parts of football training camp, where you have to push through even when you’re exhausted and hurting. Derek called it pushing through “thresholds” and building your ability to suffer.
Brandon shared a powerful idea: your body can do way more than your mind thinks it can. He said the first time you quit is the hardest, but it gets easier each time. The same is true for pushing through – the first time is tough, but it builds you up for the next time. He told a story about doing a tough workout with his strong nephew, who said Brandon was just more fit. Brandon replied, “No brother, I just know how to suffer more than you do.”
In Ranger school, they had a saying, “you earn your buddy’s tab.” This meant you had to help each other get through because nobody could do it alone. Brandon said there were nights he was hallucinating from lack of sleep and food, and his Ranger buddies had to tell him to lie down and rest. Derek related this to football, where teammates encourage each other during hard practices. They agreed that a true leader lifts others up instead of tearing them down. They also talked about how nobody needs negativity when they are already struggling under pressure, whether it’s in combat or on the football field.
They found humor in the suffering, laughing about how bad things were. It was a way to cope and make it through. Brandon said, “Shared misery,” and Derek added, “Let’s just laugh at the pain.” They knew the only other option was to quit, and quitting wasn’t an option. This relentless mindset is what makes a Ranger or a top athlete.
War and Family: A Difficult Balance
Brandon’s military service became deeply connected with his family life. On September 11th, 2001, he was a squad leader ready for action. At the same time, his future wife’s mother was in the hospital with cancer. Just days after 9/11, he married his wife, Kelly, in her mother’s living room because her mother was dying. She passed away two days later, and about a week after that, Brandon deployed for the first time to the Middle East.
His first deployment was different than he expected. He had trained for direct combat, but instead, he was doing long patrols and reconnaissance in Afghanistan, a place that seemed chaotic and where many people didn’t even know about 9/11. He described the brutal mountains and thin air they had to operate in.
While on his first deployment, Brandon got news that Kelly was pregnant. This was tough because he grew up without a dad and the last thing he wanted was to be an absent father. He even listened to his son being born over a satellite phone from Afghanistan. He felt torn between his duty as a Ranger and his desire to be a present husband and father. He admitted he lied to Kelly about how much he wanted to deploy, burying that feeling deep down.
After his first deployment, he missed his son’s birth and had to go to another school right away. The military life at that time was constant preparing, deploying, and getting ready to do it again. Brandon was only home for about three of the first 36 months of his marriage. His son didn’t even know who he was. This was incredibly hard on Brandon and his family.
Brandon shared that eventually, he only felt normal when he was deployed. That’s a powerful statement. It was his element; he knew what to do and was hyper-focused. He and Derek talked about how people who are super focused on their jobs, like special forces and athletes, can be hard to be married to because the job often comes first. When they come home, their wives have their own routines, and it creates friction. Brandon felt like he wasn’t the leader of his household when he was home, just “there.”
He also shared a scary moment when a loud car drove by his house, and he instinctively went to the window, tracking it as if he had his rifle. His wife saw this and didn’t know how to handle it. Derek and Brandon both felt that the government could do a better job of preparing families for what veterans go through and how it can affect them at home.
Struggling After Service and Finding Forgiveness
When Brandon left the military in 2009 after almost a decade as a Ranger, he did what many veterans do: he told the VA he was fine, even though he wasn’t. He and Kelly were struggling, and their home life was difficult. He took a job that kept him on the road, still running away from dealing with things. He felt disconnected from his Ranger brothers, and it hurt to watch them still in the fight during the bloodiest years of the war while he was home.
He tried to get back into a high-stakes job, applying to the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team. He got to the very end but failed the polygraph test, which he didn’t understand since he felt he didn’t lie. He felt lost, like nobody wanted him at home and he didn’t know what to do.
Then, his company offered him a job in Colorado. He and Kelly moved there, and it was there that things started to change. He began asking big questions and seeking answers. He was invited to a church and started going. In 2012, he had a life-changing experience and came to have a relationship with Jesus.
Brandon explained that finding faith wasn’t an instant fix, but it was the start of working on things and transforming. He felt like he shouldn’t even be alive after everything he went through, but since he was, he wanted to spend his life loving and serving others.
Derek shared a similar journey, feeling angry for a long time about not having a dad and wondering why others had better lives. He felt like God didn’t love him as much. But he recently realized that God was always there, protecting him and guiding him through tough times. This realization brought him gratitude and helped him focus on the good things in his life, which reduced his anxiety and depression.
Brandon also had to confront his difficult relationship with his own father. His father was dying in Colorado, and Brandon went to see him. He had been in therapy and trying to understand his feelings of worthlessness. He found out his father had lied for years about being a Green Beret who served in Vietnam, which deeply angered Brandon, especially since his father was claiming his leukemia was from Agent Orange when he hadn’t even been there.
Despite the anger and years of hurt, Brandon found a Bible verse (Romans 12:19) that said, “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.” He read this over his dying father and told him he forgave him for everything. He said he didn’t want the hate and anger anymore and was “zeroing out the debt.”
Both Brandon and Derek talked about how hard it is to forgive, especially people who have hurt you deeply. They agreed that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, but it means choosing to let go of the hate over and over again. Derek said he has to choose to forgive his mom every time he talks to her because his first reactions are often anger or wanting to ignore her.
Brandon realized that carrying that anger for over 30 years had caused a lot of damage to his family and his own heart. They both emphasized the importance of breaking the cycle of hurt that they grew up in. Brandon felt he couldn’t truly forgive without God’s help and that he had to be forgiven himself in order to forgive others. Derek added that it’s God’s job to judge, not ours.
They also touched on politics briefly, agreeing that most Americans agree on more things than they disagree on and that they are often kept divided by the “political class” for profit.
Finding Purpose and Helping Others
Brandon’s journey led him to find purpose in helping others, especially veterans. He works with a business called Applied Leadership Partners, where he and his business partner (a former Green Beret) share leadership lessons learned from their tough experiences with leaders in different organizations. They aim to help teams become stronger and more effective.
Brandon said he loves this work and has never felt more fulfilled. His life is “freaking amazing.” He is married with two adult children – a son who is an infantryman in the Army and a daughter in college. He talked about how different his kids are from him, with his daughter being incredibly smart and driven in academics, unlike his own focus on being a tough soldier and athlete.
He and Derek discussed how difficult it is to transition out of intense careers like the military or professional sports, leaving a void that needs to be filled. Helping other veterans has helped fill that void for Brandon.
They ended by talking about Brandon’s book, “Perseverance is Greater than Endurance.” The book shares stories from their time in combat to show the difference between just enduring a tough time and actively persevering and growing through it. The book offers a framework for dealing with change, uncertainty, fear, acceptance, choice, and ultimately, growth. They believe everyone will reach the end of their ability to endure, and in those moments, you must choose to persevere.
Derek asked Brandon what he would tell his 18-year-old self. Besides telling himself to dress better for dates, Brandon said he would tell his younger self, “You are loved,” and “slow down.”
